Reviews & info on some beers, bars & pubs in Japan (mainly Tokyo/Yokohama area) - with an extra large serving of nonsensical jibbbbah jabbah thrown in:

Friday, 20 November 2009

Dry hop, in your pint!! - The hop-no-kin-tama!

Man, I looooooove thee hops!!!!

(this pic was taken from the BrewRepublic website. Not a bad read.)

A thought occured to me.
Just one.
I didn't want to overdo it.

It wasn't "Where are all the baby pigeons?"

It was, " Why can't I dry hop any beer I like, any time I want to?"

I am a hop head, you see.
Many beers I can get in Japan already have sh*tloads of hops in them. Take Sculpin, 13th Anniversary, Idiot, Ruination, West Coast IPA, etc...

However, sometimes I get a beer and I just want it to have a bigger hop aroma and flavor profile.
What can I do about that?

Well, after years of painstaking research in the labs, I came up with this idea:
I call it the tea infuser hop-no-kin-tama.

Kin-tama is Japanese for silver ball (it also means testicles).
So, just like your testicles, you never want to leave home without them!

Just dip your balls into your beer, any time you feel like it.
It doesn't even to be in the privacy of your own home or in a speciality bar any more.

Now, you can feel confident that you can be anywhere and just take out your balls and drop them into your pint glass. Let them infuse for a few minutes then pick them up, let them drip dry, wipe them off with a soft cloth or paper tissue, then put them back in your pocket.

You can experiment with your balls in public.
Watch people gasp as you take out your balls and drop them in a glass of beer - a cup of coffee (warning: using freshly boiled coffee may result in scalded balls) - even a juice or fruit shake!

You can leave your balls in the beer for as long as you feel comfortable.
This could be about 5 seconds in a hot cup of coffee or up to 5 minutes or more, in a nice, cool beer.

For best results, I recommend dangling your balls and swirling them around for a while, to get that 'extra flavour'.

Don't believe this works?

Well, why not try it on a friend!
The next time your best friend gets up and goes to the toilet, why not take out your balls and dunk them in his beer!
Swirl them around in the beer for a few minutes, the take them out and put them back in your pocket.
Just wait and see the look on your friend's face, when he takes a sip of his beer.
I guarantee you, he will want to get his hands on your balls.
He'll be begging you to put your balls in his beer, every time!!

The hop-no-kin-tama - put your balls in your beer!


  1. Can I purchase one at a conbini near me?

  2. I have mine on me. It seems like I've always had my balls.

  3. I balls are not Kin-Tama..sadness

  4. Chuwy,

    Great write-up and a good idea. Question: before dipping your balls, do you stare at them for a while, perhaps even fondle them?

    BTW, I'll be at the Harajuku Taproom on Dec 18th -- Chris will be there to tap the first keg of BakaYaro!. Will you be able to make it?


  5. Does the Pope shit in the woods?
    See you there!

  6. Fantastic, see you on the 18th.